Ok, so where to begin? I guess like many people who have smoked at any point in life, there’s always been that niggle inside about how it’s not healthy or how it’s so expensive etc. That niggle though is always pushed to one side and there’s always a thousand reasons (or should I say excuses) to continue:
“I’m actually quite healthy”
“I don’t have any other vices, so this one is fine”
“It’s one of the only things I have left that I enjoy”
….. All completely valid, or at least I thought so.
For as long as I can recall I’d always looked forward to waking up and spending the first hour of my day immersing myself in a nicotine nirvana. There was just no better feeling in the world. Once this ritual was complete my day would officially begin. Depending on what I was doing I would work my way through between 30-40 cigarettes without a second thought.
Was I always short of breath? Yes
Was I treated differently for being a smoker? Yes
Was the cost of smoking an issue? Yes
Did that matter? Not a chance. I loved smoking and smoking loved me - until it didn’t anymore!
The rising cost of living and the exorbitant price of cigarettes lead me to a fork in the road - find a cheaper way to smoke OR quit smoking.
I found a cheaper way to smoke. Duty Free… We all know someone somewhere that knows a guy that knows a guy who can get you some ciggies for a third of the price. Yes they tasted a bit different, and I had a bit of a cough, but I thought that would soon go once I got used to them. How wrong I was. After about 5 weeks, if anything, it just kept getting worse, to the point I was at the doctors for an unrelated issue and they heard me coughing. The doctor thought it best I at least go for a chest X-ray and some blood tests. She also sent me a link to the Yorkshire Smokefree service website saying I should contact them just to have a chat. I thought “yeah ok that sounds like something I’d do!”
If you’re still reading, this is where fate stepped in to change my life forever. As I left the doctors with 2 slips of paper (one for bloods, one for X-ray) I had a decision to make… turn left and go home (the tests can be done at any point later in the week) or turn right and walk further, and call in at the hospital on the way and have the tests done and out of the way (now it’s worth pointing out that the reason for the GP appointment was gout in my foot so walking was extremely painful at this point).
Regardless, I turned right as though being compelled by some greater force, or by the simple notion of “I’m already walking today, what difference will a bit more hurt”. As I turned into the hospital there it was - the final staging point - the holy grail in my quest that I had yet to undertake - the Yorkshire Smokefree Bus!!
After my quick tour of the hospital being poked and prodded, I ventured on board thinking “why not?” while I was here. I was “probably” going to look on the website anyway and would “more than likely” have called them just for a chat, so I didn’t really have anything to lose.
We spoke for a while and discussed pretty much what you’ve read so far. It was during this initial meeting that Varenicline was first explained to me - it blocks the nicotine receptors in your brain so that you don’t physically crave nicotine - making stopping smoking a much easier experience. I signed up that day and was told that once a GP had approved me taking it, then a prescription would be ready in a few days.
As you are going through this you are asked to pick your quit day, ideally by the 14th day but as I was told it may come sooner for some. By the 13th day I still hadn’t felt any difference and was seriously beginning to question the validity of any of the information I had been given. It wasn’t until the end of the 14th day that I realised I’d barely smoked that day at all, and what I had smoked had been just a puff here and there. That was my sign to get rid of any traces that a smoker was living here - all ashtrays, lighters, matches, cigarette papers etc - all gone that night.
The next morning, I had coffee, and that was it. No moping or nervously looking for something … just coffee. I went out that night with friends to darts, a usual occurrence, but what I considered to be my greatest trigger - alcohol and friends and other people that smoked. I had already spoken to some of my friends who are also ‘smokers that no longer smoke’ and they’d agreed to help support me if needed. I was able to get through that night with general ease and many subsequent nights. In fact, the whole process has been a bit of a doddle and I really do dislike that I can say that, because it haunts me that I put it off for so long due to what I can now only explain as fear, fear of failure, fear of going through pain with cravings, just fear. It’s so much easier than that.
Weekly meetings with the Superstar that is Claire have been really helpful (there are a lot more people in the team but my main dealings are with Claire and if everyone who works there is even half as supportive as Claire is, then there are never going to be any issues). I get to monitor my progress, blow into the carbon monoxide monitor, and talk about my experiences without judgement - all the while getting continuous support. But I’ve come to realise it’s about more than that. It's about being seen and heard, listened to when you might be feeling vulnerable and lost (because you can be). Smoking is/was such a huge part of people’s lives and stripping it away can leave you feeling helpless and that’s what Claire and the team do, they see and hear you and that helps, it REALLY helps.
Did I have any adverse side effects?
Not personally, but you are warned beforehand about any. One thing I did notice is lucid dreams, so I tried to avoid taking a tablet too close to bedtime which helped. I used to have dreams about smoking and the guilt I felt over having a dream cigarette was unreal, to the point I checked pockets to make sure I hadn’t bought any!
How am I now?
Great! My health has improved which is to be expected but it’s the little things you notice… going upstairs or jogging over the road to avoid a car that’s coming, feels much easier. My heartbeat has gone from just over 80bpm to just over 60bpm so I’m naturally calmer too.
Eating is starting to become more of a habit for me. Smoking can surpress your appetite, so I’m having proper meals now as my appetite returns.
If you feel like you want or need help with regards to stopping smoking, then there’s no need to put it off any longer. Yorkshire Smokefree are willing and more than able to help, in whatever capacity you need, but it has to be you that makes the first move. After that, you’re a team, and with a great team anything is possible.
